Slipping away...

Why oh why does it have to be so dark and cold here? Why can't it be sunny so I can pretend it's late July or even early August? I want the summer to go by fast so I can go back to college but it just keeps dragging on forever...

Went to graduation on Sunday, that was fun...yeah, Sly's speech wasn't nearly as sad/bittersweet as Mr. Alford's was...it was strange being there though...so much has happened without me that I no longer feel as integral a part of DHS and you know, that really doesn't bother me, I guess, this whole "growing up" thing where I move on and everybody moves away...it does make for a rather lonely existence, however, when you're separated from the people who've known you for the last year unlike those who surround you now...but I'll just throw myself into my work and sleep away the loneliness...

Back to square one on the Patrick issue...tickets are now upwards of $600 to $900 dollars for a flight, so to heck with that...and since Mom and Dad AND Patrick won't let me drive out there by myself, and I won't let him come here we'll be seeing each other at the end of August like originally planned. And you know what? I don't care about that either...my memory of him is slipping away...it's been over a month since I've seen him and almost a week since I've talked to him and he's slowly becoming a dream I thought I had but anymore am not quite sure...I hate that it is so, but if he is barely a memory that reaches out to strike at me on occasion, I guess I can't miss what I don't remember...

But enough gloominess! I go back to work tonight for the last time this week, maybe I can talk to Pat tomorrow night and get rid of some of the loneliness...and I like my job, even though I get frustrated sometimes with the menial work we do...but the night goes on and I'm that much closer to Hawaii, saving more money to go to Europe later...I can't wait to go back to Europe and see EVERYTHING! I need a year at least, there's so many places I want to go and I cannot settle for spending just a few days at each...I need weeks! Months! Probably not years at one place, but you never know...I may just move to Seville if things get too crazy...or Canada...moving to Canada would be fun!