So I'm a little dissatisfied right now...

Right now I'm cranky...

I wouldn't say I'm mad, or angry, but things aren't working out for me at all and I'm not happy about it.

Today is Pat and I's three month anniversary...and does he remember? No. Of course not. Just like he didn't remember our one month anniversary or our two month anniversary...I think he would have forgotten my birthday if I hadn't mentioned it.

Now, I shouldn't be cranky like this...I really shouldn't...I mean, it's just an anniversary and it's not like it's a big one, like 6 months or a year or something. But a "Hey, I miss you" email would be nice...or any email at all...I don't know what's going on anymore, it's like talking to me is a chore. And I don't understand, until about two weeks ago, most everything was normal...we didn't talk a lot because of our jobs, but at least he emailed to let me know he was alive and responded to emails I sent him. Lately it's been about 3-4 days before he gets back to me.

And he's being a real butt about me visiting Rapid. It's not my fault my parents won't let me. I hate this, I can feel our relationship falling apart and I sit here and wonder where I went wrong, what I did that wasn't right or whether or not I didn't do enough...I feel like a widow because I don't hear from him or even know if he's alive or not...it's a widow in a closer to permanent sense.

Then he brings up this "You would be better off with someone else" routine. Why do guys do that? Honestly? Is it because they're not happy and want to leave and are trying to make you believe that there's someone else out there who's better so that when they leave you you don't feel so bad? Help!